I often say there’s no protocol for leadership.
It turns out the same is true for parenting adult children.
You have to improvise, like I did on our family trip last week.
I was waiting for a flight with my younger child. They’re in the middle of graduate school applications and were stuck on one of the essay questions – worried about whether they’d have time to finish and do it well.
After several rounds of listening, careful questioning and validating points of view, I blurted out my truth.
“What you need is a half-assed gear.”
While my child had excelled at nearly everything they tried, it came at a cost. Giving 110% even on the smallest tasks was time consuming. It often prevented them from starting something new for fear of not completing it well.
So the suggestion was to shift away from their default mode – the habits and tendencies that served them well up to this point.
Why? To:
- Match the needs of a new situation
- Overcome an impasse (like having too much to do)
- Achieve a different, better outcome
For my kid, the “good enough gear” would be to intentionally do their version of a barely acceptable job in service of a greater purpose – getting all the applications in on time.
This conversation got me thinking about the leaders I coach, especially the senior leaders who are still rely on the same gear that made them successful earlier in their careers.
What gear shifts could help them grow?
For an extroverted leader: a “listen and wait” gear, especially when their tendency is to fill silence with talk.
For leaders under pressure: a “relax and notice” gear, creating just enough space to see what’s actually happening in the room.
For me, the gear shift has been different. I’m trying a “spitball” gear – sharing ideas before they’re fully polished. I tend to delay and over-refine, which doesn’t actually serve the people I want to help.
Launching my new program is part of that shift: putting something into the world that’s ready enough to be useful, rather than waiting for it to be perfect.
Through coaching, and my own experience, I’ve learned that senior roles demand a wider range of responses than the ones that originally made you successful. Knowing when – and how – to change gears is a superpower.
That’s why I’m opening the founding cohort of my small-group coaching program, Clarity and Confidence in Moments That Matter, this month.
It’s designed specifically for senior leaders (C-suite, VP and Senior/Exec Directors) who want to communicate with more clarity, confidence, and presence in real-time situations that matter. You can learn more and apply here.
If you’re earlier in your leadership journey, I haven’t forgotten you. I’ll be opening a separate cohort for emerging leaders later this spring.
What new gear do you want to try in 2026? Tell me about a challenge you face or an opportunity you seek and I’ll suggest one.
Wishing you all the best in leadership and life in 2026.
