Seven pairs of eyes were watching me on the screen, expanded in exquisite detail.
It was video feedback time at rowing camp, when the coach reviews and comments on your technique. I’d was getting used to the awkwardness of seeing yourself in motion, analyzing the stroke, and of course, taking in the feedback.
After a few technical pointers, what the coach said next surprised me:
“Rachel, smile! Look like you’re having a good time.”
Surprised and taken aback, I made that face that means I’ve just heard something I can’t process, and looked at the video replay again. Wow, was I serious. Stone faced.
What was the disconnect? How could I look so unhappy doing something I love to do?
Next time I was in the boat, I thought about this and how focused I always was on improving or not letting others down. I knew that it wasn’t just my facial expression but a mindset of performance and being tested that had permeated the sport for me.
And if I’m approaching my leisure activities with this heavy weight, what does it mean for the activities that are actually called work?
Of course our work has serious implications. For those of us in health care, lives are literally at stake. And all jobs deserves respect.
Not to mention, there’s a history of those with privilege asking those without to smile, laugh, or dance. The coach actually acknowledged the awkwardness of asking someone – particularly a woman – to smile. But I still took his point. There was a mindset happening underneath the frown.
Is it possible to be serious and have fun at the same time?
I was wrestling with this question – and writing this newsletter – when my coaching conversations last week gave unexpected insights.
One of my clients mentioned they were enjoying talking to new stakeholders more. Being less nervous allowed them to express themselves more freely and even be a little playful.
Another had been dreading an important meeting but was able to shift their perspective from the expectation of being “beaten down” to “dwelling in the joy of the opportunity to do this job,” even though the work wasn’t going perfectly.
Here’s my challenge to you: find a way to make something you’re dreading just 5% more fun.
There is no foolproof protocol for this change, but here are a few ideas to try:
- Pause and breathe
- Assume good intentions
- Notice your thoughts – what’s the story about the situation?
- Remind yourself about the end, desirable goal
- Be curious – my self prompt is “what can I learn?”
- Treat the situation like an experiment.
Having fun at work is not about foosball and happy hour. It’s a mindset of curiosity, creativity, lightness and anticipating a positive outcome. I believe it can be practiced and learned.
Because if we find our relaxed self even in the throes of work, we can access all our capabilities, better connect with others, and do our most generative thinking.
Back at camp that summer, I thought of a description of how I wanted to be: rowing with light and floating ease.
I said: I am going to enjoy these next ten strokes. And I might even smile.
