Do you know about Toastmasters?
It’s a 100+ year old organization that provides a supportive venue for finding one’s own ease in speaking. I became interested in it both as background for my new book on communication and to become a better speaker myself.
Last week, I went to a local Toastmasters meeting and it was fantastic. I loved the community and the support, and even got a chance to stand up and have fun speaking myself. Afterwards, the membership official emailed me asking if I’d like to join the club.
Before replying, I asked myself, Do I have the time and mental energy to take this on? In other words –
Will I say yes, and how will I say yes?
I’ve written and coached a lot about saying no. My passion for “no” comes from my own experience as a busy executive and parent, and from the struggles I see in leaders who perpetually overcommit themselves. (If you are interested in learning how to say “no” reply to this email and and I’ll write about it in a future article)
But there are also important distinctions in how we say “yes.”
Yes is not just one word, but a set of considerations:
- What are my intentions in saying yes?
- What exactly am I committing to?
- What will I do without hesitation?
- What will I NOT do?
- What help do I need to support this yes?
What often gets in the way of my yes’s is the desire to be the best at everything, or at least to be the fastest learner. It can be exhausting, not to mention counterproductive. Instead, I’ve realized there’s a difference between pursuing something wholeheartedly and needing to be the best, and I’m learning to do the one without the other.
So I decided “yes” to Toastmasters will look like this:
– Put the Toastmaster meetings on my calendar and attend twice a month, except when another volunteer commitment takes priority.
– Be fully present and participate at the meetings, arriving early so I’m not distracted.
– Take it slow and steady on the work outside of the meetings. I’m not trying to be the fastest or the best, remember?
-And under no circumstances to agree to be an officer of the club right away (people always sense that I’m capable and ask me to organize stuff!)
I’ve created a container for my yes. Full commitment for the specified times. But no guilt on the weekends why I’m not studying the Toastmaster manual.
It feels good.
