It was a really big lake.
1063 acres, or 4,301,808 square meters to be exact.
But when you’re out there in a 18 inch wide boat, the numbers don’t really matter.
Sure, the visibility was fine, there were no motorboats to dodge, and I had a buddy out with me. But I just didn’t feel comfortable rowing.
My muscles tightened, my strokes got choppy, and when the wind picked up I headed back to the dock – or where I thought the dock was. I missed it the first time.
Rowing on a new body of water with unfamiliar equipment had launched me out of my comfort zone and put me on the edge.
What’s the edge?
Imagine a target. In the bulls-eye center is your comfort zone – what you know and what you’ve already mastered. It’s the ring around it, the edge, where everything is awkward, uncertain and takes lots of effort.
Wherever you are in your life or career journey right now, I bet you’re “on the edge” in some way.
It might not even be a big change in circumstances, but something small and persistent, like:
- Dealing with a challenging coworker.
- Feeling uncertain in a meeting.
- Being told, “You need to be more strategic.”
To my scientific leaders out there: the edge is often about people – how to communicate, influence, or lead when there’s no protocol for doing so.
How to work with your edge.
When you find yourself out of your comfort zone, your rational mind may say, This is good for me or I can do it. But your body says, No way, this feels wrong.
I know that feeling.
It was hard to admit that I couldn’t just “row through it” on that lake like I always had. My first instinct was to muscle through and treat it like no big deal. That’s what many of us do, especially when we’re used to always being capable.
But over years of coaching leaders through new challenges, I’ve learned that growth – aka expanding your comfort zone at the edge – comes from small, intentional experiments.
Here’s a way to try this:
Step 1: Name the edge.
Acknowledge you are out of your comfort zone, and say how. Naming it turns a vague discomfort into a less scary reality.
Step 2: Draw on support.
Support can come from:
- Your past self. When have you faced something similar and managed through it? Even a loose parallel can remind you of your resourcefulness.
- Other people. Who could you ask for perspective or guidance? A mentor, a trusted friend, or yes, a coach?
- Structures. What habits help you though the situation? Regular check-ins with that difficult person, going for a walk, or taking some notes before you walk into the meeting?
Step 3: Take action and notice what happened.
Do something – anything – in the zone of the edge. Congratulate yourself. Even if it didn’t go as well as you hoped, the new experience is now in your repertoire. Next time will be different.
Back to the lake.
Instead of making the same solo effort over and over again, I looked for help. I asked a friendly-seeming rower if they’d row in a two person boat with me. I steered, and they helped me navigate.
After a month of weekly outings, I became comfortable finding my way around the lake. And, as a bonus, I made a new friend. (We’re hiking together now that it’s too cold for rowing.)
Your turn.
Again, where’s your edge right now?
By working there, you expand where you feel proficient bit by bit so that what was once on the edge becomes part of your comfort zone.
And the related truth is that to grow, not everything can go swimmingly all the time – or should I say rowing-ly. 🚣♂️
I’d love to hear about your edge. Chances are, you aren’t the only one there.
