“It was a beautiful plan.” my manager said, sitting across from me in his office.
I felt a wave of disappointment move through me – regret for a future I hadn’t even known about five minutes earlier: the role, the team, the version of me that was about to exist.
The department had grown and was planning a re-organization. I was to be promoted and become a group leader, my career goal at the time.
But then came a big change: Roche fully acquiring Genentech. Everything was up in the air, and the beautiful reorganization plan was never to be.
For the first time in years, I was thinking about my manager’s words while waiting at the airport this weekend.
I also had a beautiful plan: a trip to SF to see friends followed by my yearly me-treat, an event I’d been looking forward to for months. (And yes, there was rowing involved.)
Instead, I was heading in the other direction to be with a sick relative. Absolutely the right call.
This experience made me wonder, what do we actually do when our beautiful plans fall apart?
It happens to all of us in big and small ways. At work it could be:
- A project is cancelled.
- The study is negative.
- The company goes under – or is acquired.
- You don’t get the role you’re already imagining yourself in.
And if you’re leading a team, people working with you are probably facing their own beautiful plan changes in ways you aren’t even aware of.
How to lead yourself and lead others when the beautiful plan changes? Here’s what I tried last weekend, and you can try too:
Name what you’re feeling
When facing a disappointment, we’re conditioned to say, “That’s OK.” and move on. Even 30 seconds to name it – “I’m sad” – changes how you feel moving forward.
And if you’re leading others, recognize that they may also be processing emotions during this time. In one of my recent coaching conversations, a leader realized that even a “logical” decision to deprioritize a project felt like a personal loss to someone on their team.
Pause before writing the future story
When faced with new unexpected circumstances, it’s easy to assume that the future will be a certain version of bad. A great leader I once worked with reminded us that if you feel one way today (about a change) you’ll probably feel differently tomorrow.
Try asking: “What do I actually know right now?” before filling in the rest.
Stay with what’s actually happening
A lot of the pain doesn’t come from the change itself – it comes from the story we tell ourselves about what it means.
In moments of change, I find it helpful to write down what’s been decided, what hasn’t, and what’s one action I can take right now.
The funny thing is, the moment the plan changes, that “new future” becomes your present – and sooner than you think, your past.
Past Rachel couldn’t see it at the time, but that change led somewhere unexpectedly good. Present Rachel is absorbing the change and moving forward with new expectations.
If your plans have changed too, know that how you respond to this moment is part of how you grow into the leader you’re becoming.
