It was 7 am Wednesday Nov 6th and I didn’t know what to do.
The 8 am rowing practice was optional due to high winds. I was thinking of skipping it, since the stress of the election results seemed overwhelming, and I didn’t want to make a costly error steering the boat.
But I decided to go anyway because the lure of seeing “real people” and good friends was too strong.
It was the best decision ever.
For that blissful hour, we literally rowed the waves in the wind. It took complete concentration and connection to follow the rower in the seat in front of me. Afterwards, one of the rowers said that being on the water “soothed the soul.”
This, I realized, WAS taking care of myself.
It’s likely that pulling a heavy oar through the water is not on your list of self-care activities. But that’s the point.
There’s a lot of info out there about self care and the important factors like sleep, nutrition, exercise, etc. We don’t need to review any of those facts and statistics.
But what I do want to bring to your attention is the importance of knowing what taking care of yourself looks like for YOU.
For many of us, if there ever was an owner’s manual for ourselves, we can’t find it. And the information has probably changed since the last edition was published.
Fortunately, there is a way to know our preferences.
When I work with a new leadership coaching client, the first meeting is an interview conversation to learn about my client to shape their coaching plan. I always want to get a sense of what they like to do and what gives them energy, so I can use this information to help them strengthen existing self-care habits. Leadership doesn’t run well on fumes!
You can start crafting your own self-care operating manual, with these questions:
Every day I like to….
Eery week I like to….
I find it comforting when…
It’s enjoyable to…
When I’m feeling down, what cheers me up is…
If nothing comes to mind, think back to a a past time in your life, and answer: When I was young…, When I was in my 20’s….. , etc.
Then, follow the coach-approved method of reflection, observation and practice:
- That was reflection – answering the questions.
- The next step is to notice when you do or don’t do your self care practices – suspending judgement, just observing.
- Then, based on what you learn: practice. Maybe add one habit back to your daily routine and see what happens.
You are the best curator of your own experience. It’s just so easy to forget it.
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