When the executive’s unmistakable tone of voice issued from my mouth, it shocked even me.
I was leading a cross-functional team addressing a strategic question for the company. The team’s work was relatively straightforward. The tricky part was gauging the reactions of leaders to our proposal, since our findings would impact groups across the company.
In a prep meeting before one of the many management check-ins, I found myself saying, “If we make that point, Andy will say….” and I dropped the timbre of my voice for a spot-on imitation of one of our key stakeholders making a rejoinder.
I stopped. What was I doing? I didn’t intend to mock or disrespect. It was only… I had this leader’s voice in my head like a visiting inner critic, and was quite sure of his reaction if we went down that particular path.
It wasn’t until later I realized I’d just touched on a superpower: not the ability to imitate voices, but the capacity to make hypotheses about people’s likely reactions.
I had been paying attention in a new way.
As the team leader, I had to remind myself my role wasn’t just to direct the work of my (highly capable) team but to tend to the decision makers outside of it.
In meetings, I listened to what the other leaders asked and commented on. I met with them 1×1 or asked people in their departments about their hot topics. I had been unknowingly constructing a mental model of my stakeholders.
To back up, in my last few articles, I’ve been talking about the leadership shift that occurs when getting things done relies on other people, often people with more power and access that you. I wrote about the mindsets that get in the way of assuming this responsibility and making time for it.
Because of this shift, your understanding of your stakeholders – what matters to them in general, what else is happening in their world, their true perspectives on your plan – is just as important as your plan itself.
Here are three steps to build a mental model of your audience so you can understand their points of view and communicate even more effectively with them:
1. Make a list of your stakeholders
Easy to do but also easy to skip: Open a a computer file or pen and paper and brainstorm a list of people that have the power to approve or veto your plan, have control over the implementation, or you know it’s important to them for any reason.
If your list is long, pick out 4-5 who are important, being sure to include some who aren’t as accessible to you, as say, your manager or your manager’s manager. Also, watch out for unconsciously excluding anyone you find challenging to deal with!
2. Imagine their perspective
Next, write down what you believe they care about. Try to be more specific than “regulatory,” e.g., keeping the filing in on schedule; protecting their employee’s time; staying to budget, etc. This is the part where you want to channel what you know about them to gauge how they will react. Maybe you’ll hear their voice in your head like I did!
And – I know this is tough – let yourself be wrong. It’s OK to guess incorrectly, you never need to show this to anyone. It’s the exercise of trying to imagine that counts.
3. Spend time with them even (or especially) if they disagree
Just by listening, in 1×1 conversations or in a group setting, we can test and refine these mental models. Sometimes we have to actively create these opportunities by reaching out for 1×1 conversations with stakeholders when you do a lot of listening.
Here’s a tip: if you find yourself not wanting to meet with someone who is, objectively speaking, relevant to the work you are doing, notice it. Ask yourself why. Then ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen if you met with them. Even with imagining the worst, I expect you’ll see that the benefits outweigh the discomfort.
Like any model, our mental stakeholder models are imperfect. But I hope that creating them gives you not only insight but connection to and maybe even compassion for the people – because at the end of the day they are just people, regardless of the title! – who can partner with you to bring your good work into the world.
Let me know how it goes.
