Standing in line at Dunkin’ Donuts, I had a realization that made my stomach drop.
It was the morning of my child’s college graduation. My family had stopped for coffee just a few minutes from the college campus. Digging into my purse to pay, I noticed what wasn’t there: four paper graduation tickets. They were back at the hotel, 25 minutes away.
I sprang into action. Leaving hurried instructions to the rest of the group to walk to the college campus and wait for me at the entrance, I grabbed the rental car keys and careened out of the parking lot, back to the hotel.
Driving those 25 minutes to fetch the tickets, I was mad.
Mad at the traffic lights.
Mad at the people in the hotel elevator.
And most of all, mad at myself.
What a stupid thing to do. And at what cost? In my activated state, I imagined we could end up missing the graduation ceremony altogether. Shame began to seep in.
Then, I remember the movie “The Internship.”
In it, two out of work, over-the-hill salespeople apply for a summer internship at Google. In the interview, they’re asked a consultant-like question to the effect of: “If you were shrunk down to the size of a nickel and trapped in a blender, how would you get out?”
Some crazy riffing ensues between the two friends (played by Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) ending with,
“It’s not so much getting out of the blender. It’s what happens next. That’s the question.”
I realized I had to get out of the blender.
The mistake had been made. There was no going back. The question now was, how would I respond? I could sulk, rage, continue to talk about how the error came about (switched purses!) and bring my “mistake energy” to the rest of the proceedings.
Or, I could move forward. Drive back to the college without incident. Meet up again with my family assuming we’d have time to get our seats. Be present to the excitement of the day.
It’s what happens next – after the mistake is made – that matters.
In the workplace, mistakes are made all the time. Many are what I’ll call “process mistakes,” different from “content mistakes.” A meeting gets canceled by or scheduled by accident. A person isn’t consulted when they ought to be. The requested slide deck is late or misses the mark.
As a leader, these glitches can be very frustrating when you’re trying so hard to be efficient and effective. You may fear that they will drain energy and engagement from your team, as well as yourself.
What to do as a leader when mistakes happen? When you find yourself in that frustrated spot because things haven’t gone according to your plan, here are a few different approaches to “get out of the blender” and move forward:
- A mistake creates a new reality, even when it’s not the reality you wanted. Try asking the question, “What’s the best plan given this new reality?” This helps you accept the current situation and move forward.
When you do, you might find that the new mistake-induced plan is not meaningfully different from the original one.
- Limit the time spent reviewing why the mistake happened so it doesn’t exceed the impact of the error. We analytical, precise types tend to dwell on what goes wrong – a great skill until overused.
After forgetting the tickets, I realized I had to be super careful to check what I’m carrying when in unfamiliar surroundings. This mental analysis took about a minute. It wasn’t necessary to question my life choices or fitness to be a mother.
- Accept some messiness as the cost of doing complex work with multiple participants.
When I transitioned from a large company to a small one, there were so many more “process mistakes.” At first, these mishaps and miscommunications really stung, given my highly organized perfectionist tendencies. Over time I realized we were making progress anyway, and my maneuvering to avoid these mistakes was causing more disruption than good.
To be sure, pay attention and take responsibility for how work gets done. Oodles of research suggest that successful organizations continually learn and adapt, and making change happen may be part of your own leadership journey, too.
This week, one of my coaching clients and I explored a powerful leadership metaphor: the orchestra conductor. What does a performing orchestra do when there’s a wrong note played? Do they stop and repeat the phrase? Point their violin bows at the offending musician? No. They keep playing because the sum impact of the piece is more important than any one moment.
And I’d say the same for my child’s graduation. It was wonderful. I bet I’m the only one who even remembers about the missing tickets, and I’ve mostly forgotten – partly because I spent less time and energy being upset about it than I would have in the past.
In the movie, the internship interview ends with the Vince Vaughn character joyfully proclaiming, “We started off in a blender, and now we’re saving lives!”
How appropriate for the work many of us do. Let’s not let our mistake “blenders” take away from the real goals, but instead continue to focus on what happens next.
P.S. I’ve been practicing making and recovering from mistakes a lot lately, as my family is moving from the San Francisco Bay Area to the Denver/Boulder region of Colorado. It’s exciting and overwhelming to leave the area we’ve lived in for 30 years.
Scientific Leadership Pathways, LLC – aka my coaching, speaking and writing – will continue largely unchanged. I’ll have less in-person availability in San Francisco but many new opportunities for personal and professional connections in Colorado.
Stay tuned!
