I still get nervous before giving a talk.
I pace around, muttering to myself. I imagine all the things that can go wrong.
In the past, I would have left it like that and just carried on, feeling uncomfortable. Nerves are pretty common, aren’t they?
But now, I know what I can do to calm and focus myself before a presentation:
I think about who I’m doing the presentation for – my audience – and how they may benefit.
This works for me. But will it work for everyone?
I don’t think so. So much of self leadership is personal, especially when there’s stress involved. I’ve seen it over and over again – we each develop our own ways of navigating challenging moments.
This perspective was reinforced during this year’s group coaching program “Clarity and Confidence in Moments that Matter.”
Through self observation, reflection and discussion, the leaders identified their own ways of moving through big events and stressful situations – be it the nerves the night before a Board presentation or that unexpected question where your heart seems to stop.
- One participant told themselves “I’ve got this” or “I’ve done this before”
- Another kept their feet on the floor and hands on the table to feel grounded.
- Another paused to consciously remind themselves to give the message before the details.
Watching these different approaches, I finally understood that they all served the same purpose.
Each leader was building a personal protocol: a small collection of beliefs and actions to help them access their better self instead of their stress self.
I think many of us (including me) would prefer a foolproof, reliable protocol for tricky leadership situations. Unfortunately, unlike a lab protocol, there’s no one right answer – it has to be tested to see what works for you.
But these repeated actions, which take little or no objective time, can be used over and over again to help you fight the nerves and reliably access the knowledge and awareness you already possess.
You probably already have the beginnings of a personal protocol to show up as your best in the moment, and you can intentionally develop it.
Tell me, before an important conversation…before presenting…when you’re put on the spot…
What do you already do that helps?
Keep doing those.
(And feel free to share them, I’d love to hear)
Want some new ones?
Maybe take one of the examples above, experiment with it, and notice the results.
And keep reading this newsletter for more ways to be effective in moments that matter.
Because I’ve realized, here on the third anniversary of my newsletter articles, that in every one, I’ve been offering up possible protocols for you.
Here are some favorites from the past year:
For when success seems elusive
When you’re feeling left out at work
If you’re dealing with a big change
Thank you for reading, I hope you feel more understood, more hopeful, and have a new way to move forward.
