My leadership coaching client is working diligently on effective communication, and it’s paying off.
I’ve noticed a shift in their questions. Instead of asking, “How do I get others to listen and understand me?” they’re now asking, “How do I get them to act on what I’m saying?”
This got me thinking, what do my clients really want out of effective communication?
I realized they want their ideas to make an impact by getting others to agree or take action. This could be that the company is funded (CEO), the Board agrees on the Research direction (CSO), the project plan is approved (team leader), and so on. Likewise, I’m sure there is something YOU want out of your next discussion or presentation.
Effective communication, then, isn’t only an end in itself; it’s a means to achieve greater impact. Being clear sets you up to persuade. But how to do that well?
One approach came to me from a coaching “book club” (yes, we do that). The book “Leadership As Masterpiece Creation” (2024) has an interesting thesis I don’t completely agree with, but I liked their framework for persuasion. With it, the authors make the case that persuasion doesn’t start when you are looking across the table with your slide deck ready – it’s a longer game.
Here’s my take on their 5 steps for persuading others. And the good news is that you can try some of them right away.
1. Is persuasion necessary?
Before investing time and effort, ask: What happens if my listener doesn’t understand or agree with me on this topic? Me, I’ve wasted time trying to persuade others on irrelevant or irreconcilable points, just like it’s not worth persuading my cat not to eat the other cat’s food. Recognizing when persuasion does matter helps you prioritize your energy.
2. What is your position?
Take a clear stand keeping in mind that there’s a balance between credibility and paralysis—don’t let perfection prevent you from making your point.
3. What is your reputation?
The authors ask two key questions:
- Does the listener believe you care about the truth?
- Do they feel you care about them?
This is the long game of persuasion. Over time, showing that you are open to alternative viewpoints and admitting when you are wrong or change your opinion demonstrates respect and understanding. And, showing interest in the concerns of others makes it more likely that they will do the same for you.
4. What will the response be?
Even – or especially – when you’re passionate about an idea, look at the other perspective. Put yourself into the minds and hearts of your listener (as I discuss more here). What will they be thinking when you speak? “Too much work! Too complicated! Too expensive!”
Note: A common pitfall among us highly analytical people: don’t let addressing the objections overshadow your main point,
5. Are you being considerate?
The authors of the book define considerate as speaking, “for the easiest understanding possible.” I appreciate the perspective that being clear shows respect for your audience as well as increasing the likelihood of getting what you want! And with that, we’re back where we started – effective communication.
In summary, here is a tangible path to persuading others, independent of slide decks, oratory skills, or hierarchy.
Last piece of advice – don’t practice persuasion alone. Run your arguments by trusted colleagues (or those who you want to trust you). Ask them if the argument is sound or what objections they might foresee.
You will get feedback … and you might even gain an ally.
